Work:life balance. Is it achievable or mythically unobtainable ? Some friends and colleagues have told me they think I’ve cracked the code, but it was only when one of them told me I should write a blog on it that I gave it some real thought.
The first part of that process was consulting with my wife on the subject. She fell off her chair with hysterical laughter at the very idea of us having work:life balance, giving pause for more thought. To start with, why that riotous amusement from “she who must be obeyed” ? Perhaps because with two careers and three very active boys, we have a schedule that is very challenging and life feels we’re on a turbocharged treadmill.
We rarely have a spare moment to ourselves, often feel exhausted, frequently harried and rushed. Hardly sounds like a balanced life….but we think it is.
Why ? Passion. If you’re following your passion, none of the hectic life feels like drudgery or is done grudgingly.
Sure, I’d love to lie in past 5am, but when you have boys who swim, that is wishful thinking.
Are there business trips where I’d rather be at home in Cayman than in yet another hotel room on my own ? Of course, but I love my work and it is often best conducted face to face.
I’m passionate about my family, my work, and various causes I support, and my family supports me in all of that as they are passionate about me (lucky me!).
So, sorry, no magic secrets to this work:life balance thing, but passion is the magic ingredient.
Ok, ok, a few tips and tricks though, particularly for those who manage their own time.
First, keep one diary for both work and personal commitments, and share it with your spouse so you each know when you are free/busy/committed. Yes, sometimes you might even want to make an appointment for you know what…but be prepared for late cancellations on occasion !
Second, don’t feel guilty when you have to block time during a weekday to do the school run, attend a parent teacher meeting etc. The good news here is that school and extra-curricular activities tend to be plannable far further in advance than client work, so take time to enter it in your shared calendar as far in advance as you can.
Third, nothing in life is free, and that includes time. Sure, take time out for personal commitments, but you’ll have to make it up at night (after you’ve got the kids to bed). Hey, remember, you’re working your passion, it shouldnt be tough to get the energy to do that !
So, shared calendars, with personal commitments blocked in advance. What can that mean in practice ?
Well, I’m banging this out on a Blackberry while waiting for a swim meet session to start in Jamaica (here to both support my sons swimming and also as an official. Call me crazy but I enjoy refereeing sports).
On a more day to day level, here are some of the practical applications of a scheduled life, from one day last week :
- 5am – up, take kids to pool to practice
- 5:50am back in house, catch up with emails to UK/European clients (6 hour time difference means they are all at work already).
- 7:15am leave house, do school run
- 8am – 10am first client meeting, then back to house to home office (a joy of Cayman is that 5-10 minute drives between meetings are commonplace)
- 12:15-1:15 networking lunch
- 1:30 – 3:15 client meeting…deliberately set to finish at 3:15 as…
- 3:15-4 my day for school pickups
- 4-6 last meeting of the day, finishing at 6 as…
- 6:15 Spinning class..my personal exercise addiction
- 7:30 – 9:30 eat, hang with wife and kids
- 9:30 get everything done that didnt get done during the day
- 11:30 crash out
Crazy ? Sure. Tiring ? Definitely. Fulfilling ? Certainly. Balanced ? I’m trying !
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Tom,
Could not agree with you more regarding work/life balance. Surround yourself with YOUR passion and you will enjoy every moment of your life. I am also very lucky my wife & I share everything in our work/life balance and it’s fantastic. We just need to be careful that we don’t start communicating with 140 characters!!
Surround yourself with positive people & you will create so much energy & enthusiasm.SO many people complain about their lifestyle and work/life balance, and I tell them change it. Don’t complain, it’s only them that can change. Life is way too short.
It’s incredible that passion is the key to so many things, don’t you think?
As a single mum running my own business I regularly get the “pity” look, and asked “how on earth do you cope?”. Like you, Tom, I cope because I love my daughter and I love what I do, therefore it’s not a chore or a hassle or a nightmare. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it’s hard, but it’s truly worth it.
There’s an assumption that work/life balance means 50:50 and many beat themselves up because they can’t achieve that. I believe work/life balance could easily be 80:20, or 30:70 or 95:5, depending on the day and the situation, but as long as that evens out the next day, then you’re in balance.
My top tip is to look after number 1, really well. It sounds selfish, but it’s not. If you’re not hot to trot, happy and fulfilled, fit and healthy, then you won’t be able to achieve all those things you have to achieve and be there for those that rely on you.
I don’t always get the work/life balance right, but I try.
Thanks for such a thought-provoking blog.
So I Tweeted my response and was asked to leave a comment! I gave up on work life balance a long time because I believe ‘balance’ is too easily lost. Look at a seesaw … one ounce too much on the other side and up it goes. I am working on a work life integration theory, but again, passion is key. Working to have a seamless integration between the two, a smooth blending of the transition period like colours in a painting or the ability to … as Tom is doing … write a blog on his BB while at his kids swim meet.
My top tips:
1 – Like Tom I keep personal and business in the same calendar
2 – Remember to make appointments for important personal things and to not let yourself feel like you ever have to explain. An appointment at 4pm can be just that … an appointment at 4pm … no one need know that it is for your child’s school play, and
3 – Take it one day at a time … and remember that with every day you have a new opportunity to get it right so never give up.
You’ve hit the nail on the head:
“If you’re following your passion, none of the hectic life feels like drudgery or is done grudgingly.”
I worked this out for myself last year after comparing a few different periods in my business life, times when I have felt energised versus times when I have felt drained, and it was never the amount of hours worked that made the difference but the enjoyment.